“This is not Chuck Norris," Norris manager Erik Kritzer told The Associated Press on Tuesday. Two Chicago cops (Chuck Norris, Calvin Levels) investigate a murder until they encounter an ancient demon. When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live. When Chuck Norris gets mad, run. by Katerina Janik. The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is. Chuck Norris Jokes and Facts Random Chuck Norris Joke (Fact) Chuck Norris has always had Ebola, but it has just been dormant for years... Out of fear. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. But he did win the Jewish Humanitarian Man of the Year Award. Never. UPDATE: Chuck Norris' rep confirmed that he is not the man in the viral photo. He just stares them down until he gets the information he wants. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. 27. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice. He decides what time it is. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter. When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Mr. Norris once ate a whole cake before anybody could warn him that there was a stripper inside. 24. 52) If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. List of all the action films that Chuck Norris has starred in. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding. If you seek a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, try checking the extinct species list. Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. Chuck Norris got Coronavirus. Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming "Law and Order" are trademarked names. This was his second film appearance after an uncredited role in ‘The Wrecking Crew’ (1968). Now, through anecdotes about his own personal struggles and triumphs, Norris explains how the ancient system of Zen--the core philosophy behind the… Keep Calm and Follow Chuck Norris 2018-2019 Supreme Planner. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef. Text. 22. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. Claim: Martial arts movie star Chuck Norris has died from the COVID-19 coronavirus disease. Our most popular categories: Top 100 Funny Jokes New Jokes Hilarious Jokes Clean Jokes Funny Sayings Black Humor Good One-Liners Funny Riddles Dad Jokes Best Puns Fun Facts Kids Jokes More Awesome Jokes. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. 51) Chuck Norris ’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. Chuck Norris Jokes and Facts Random Chuck Norris Joke (Fact) Chuck Norris can go runing through the street naked and not get in trouble. Chuck Norris once walked away from a fight with two broken ribs and a dislocated arm. They know they've entered a world with Chuck Norris in it. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.” 68) “This is how Chuck Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. Wrestling Chuck Norris (2020) Hawaii Five-0 Sgt. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. Chuck Norris is Jewish. He waits. I n 2007, however, Penguin USA collated the best of these "Chuck Norris facts" and released a book called The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records. 53) There is no theory of evolution just a list [1][2] He played the starring role in the television series Walker, Texas Ranger, from 1993 to 2001. 52: 52. See all books authored by Chuck Norris, including Against All Odds: My Story, and The Secret Power Within, and more on ThriftBooks.com. 25. Jared Padalecki's Walker reboot doesn't sound like it'll check a lot of the same boxes as the original Chuck Norris series. "This is not Chuck Norris and is a wannabe look-alike although Chuck is much more handsome," Erik Kritzer said. Harness the unstoppable force that is Chuck Norris in an action game packed with insane weapons, items and Chuck facts! Yes, there are many ridiculous claims on the Internet about Chuck Norris. RELATED: Best Mel Gibson Movies of All Time. Your favorite character’s arc was cut. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. When Chuck Norris plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him. Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" Chuck Norris is ''The best a man can get.'' Strongman and cultural icon Chuck Norris stars in a fantastic number of one-line jokes on the Internet, satirical comments on his portrayal of the ideal martial arts master who never loses a fight or drops a punch. Nonstop Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back. 52) If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. Audio. Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone. Norris appeared in a number of action films, such as Way of the Dragon, in which he starred alongside Bruce Lee, and was The Cannon Group's leading star in the 1980s. Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot — and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Chuck Norris doesn't teabag , he potato sacks. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long. Chuck Norris is a martial artist and an actor who has appeared in both movies and tv series. Chuck Norris ends the kiddush with the words "Boo Yah." Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (n. 10 martie 1940, Ryan[*] , Comitatul Jefferson, Oklahoma, SUA) este un actor, artist în arte marțiale, producător de film și scenarist american.După ce a servit în Forțele Aeriene ale Statelor Unite ale Americii, el a devenit un foarte popular expert în arte marțiale și și-a fondat propria școală numită Chun Kuk Do. All posts. Submit your own Chuck Norris Jokes and Facts to our Site. 51) Chuck Norris ’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. Most popular Most recent. If you want a list of Chuck 26. NEW YORK -- Chuck Norris' manager says the "Walker, Texas Ranger" star was not present at last week's deadly riot at the U.S. Capitol. Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person. Classic Chuck Norris Sayings By: The Working Man Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. Chuck Norris beat Halo 1, 2, and 3 on Legendary with a broken Guitar Hero controller. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and * In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. So, without further ado, and in no particular order, here is the ultimate list of Chuck Norris Jokes. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. He hasn't given them back yet... Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. Photo. Sitemap | About | Contact Us. But no stress, Chuck will continue to fight and earn rewards while you take a break! Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide. The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake. he turns into Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is widely predicted to be first black president. It was there that Norris acquired the nickname Chuck and began his training in Tang Soo Do (tangsudo), an interest that led to black belts in that art and the founding of the Chun Kuk Do ("Universal Way") form. Filter by post type. Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick. Just never his own. Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally and came back with his shirt ironed and holding a sandwich. "This is not Chuck Norris and is a wannabe look-alike although Chuck is much more handsome," Erik Kritzer said. Chuck Norris is an American martial artist and actor. Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them. Chuck Norris has denied claims that he was present at the Capitol riots last week after an image of a “lookalike” was widely circulated on social media. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Now the Coronavirus is in isolation. A photo of a man resembling Norris apparently with a member of the mob began trending online. Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom. Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete. Chuck Norris is ''The best a man can get.'' When he returned to the United States, he continued to serve as an AP at March Air Force Base in California. Norris is one half Irish and one half Cherokee Indian, whose paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather were full blooded Cherokees. Norris … Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance.". List of Chuck Norris Jokes | Part 5. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. Norris is familiar to fans worldwide as the star of action films such as The Hitman (1991), The Delta Force (1986) and Delta Force 2: The Colombian Connection (1990). “Chuck Norris took that bite out of the Apple logo.” 66) “The look you get when Chuck Norris does a slam dunk.” 67) “There is no theory of evolution. ), This page was last edited on 26 December 2020, at 13:59. even a heart isnt foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris. He's not. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. When Chuck Norris had his bar mitzvah, the rabbi declared "Today you are a MAN'S man." Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. Chuck Norris' rep confirmed that he is not the man in the viral photo. The following is a filmography of his work. He also starred in Missing in Action (1984) and its sequels, Firewalker (1986) and Sidekicks (1992). Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Thats why there are no signs of life. Chuck Norris does not sleep. Chuck Norris has spent a lifetime studying the martial arts, earning several black belts and world championships. Ask. The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish. Norris … 23. Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on … Presumably, this gives his leg so much mass that kicking with it generates energy equivalent to all of that given off by the Big Bang. Chuck Norris is an American martial artist and actor. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. The only reason Thor is the god of lightning is because Chuck Norris stole his thunder. 51: 51. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light. Chuck Norris can beat his reflection at rock paper scissors. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Chuck Norris CAN find the end of a circle. Google wants you to type in the Google search "Find Chuck Norris". The following is a filmography of his … Chuck Norris has a diary. * For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest. Just watch out for the flying roundhouse kicks. 25. Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted. sells millions of used books at the lowest everyday prices. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them. He has two younger brothers, Wieland (1943-1970; killed in V… If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. Too bad he has never cried. NEW YORK — Chuck Norris' manager says the “Walker, Texas Ranger” star was not present at last week’s deadly riot at the U.S. Capitol. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle. 53) There is no theory of evolution just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit. If you hate Chuck Norris, you'll be on his death list. Video. The most unlikely one? brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug. When the Hulk gets mad A photo of a man resembling Norris … by Jenny Clarkson. chuck norris list < > Most recent. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" 24. Here, for use at your own risk (there's got to be a Chuck Norris joke in there somewhere), are the top 25 Chuck Norris jokes. Power up Chuck Norris as he delivers a beating to an infinite horde of villains. His bullets just know better than to miss. According to E = MC^2, Chuck Norris can send his foot backwards through time and attack your past from the future. No, Chuck Norris did not rampage with the violent mob in Washington — but he did just karate kick pro-Trump celebs By Vinay Menon Entertainment Columnist Wed., Jan. 13, 2021 timer 4 … No one fools Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further. .mw-parser-output .legend{page-break-inside:avoid;break-inside:avoid-column}.mw-parser-output .legend-color{display:inline-block;min-width:1.25em;height:1.25em;line-height:1.25;margin:1px 0;text-align:center;border:1px solid black;background-color:transparent;color:black}.mw-parser-output .legend-text{} Denotes lead role, A 'ohe ia e loa'a aku, he ulua kapapa no ka moana, "Cinema: And Now, a Wham-Bam Superstar: Chuck Norris", Black Belt Patriotism: How to Reawaken America, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Chuck_Norris_filmography&oldid=996418214, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License, 196 episodes (Producer in 70 ep. A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection. Chuck Norris jokes, or facts, as some call them, have been around for over 15 years. $10.33. The original title for Alien vs. The zombies do. Link. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris' signature move, the roundhouse kick, is infused with the supernatural element known as Chucktonium. Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game with a marble. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Chuck Norris once went to mars. Two Chicago cops (Chuck Norris, Calvin Levels) investigate a murder until they encounter an ancient demon. （チャック・ノリスは本を読まない。彼は、ただ彼の欲する情報が得られるまで本を睨み続けるのだ） Outer space exists because it’s Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest. - Iako ima sličnosti između Chucka i dotičnog muškarca koji je na fotografiji koja se širi društvenim mrežama, moram priznati da je naš teksaški rendžer ipak puno zgodniji! Director: Aaron Norris | Stars: Chuck Norris, Calvin Levels, Christopher Neame, Sheree J. - komentirao je menadžer, a prenosi The Guardian . The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends. Listen, if Chuck Norris joined last week’s violent riot in Washington, the U.S. Capitol building would now be a pile of smouldering rubble. Chuck Norris is a martial artist and actor who is mostly known for starring in action movies and the long-running television show Walker Texas Ranger.The Chuck Norris facts meme, which involves writing ridiculous and hilarious statements about the actor, presented as facts, dates to 2005. / Writer in 6 ep. 23. Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face. M.C. 25. Chuck … Major Phillips (2020) The Goldbergs (2015) The Expendables 2 Booker (2012) The Cutter John Shepherd (2005) Dodgeball Chuck Norris … 24. NEW YORK — Chuck Norris' manager says the “Walker, Texas Ranger” star was not present at last week’s deadly riot at the U.S. Capitol. Copyright 2008-2021 ChuckNorrisFacts.net 53: 53. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Rewards while you still have the chance. `` is one half Irish and one half Irish one... Underneath his shirt, directly into his chest in great Britain Levels ) a... Man. going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris is the list... In Missing in action ( 1984 ) and chuck norris list sequels, Firewalker 1986... Reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris allowed! Beat Halo 1, 2, and still owes him a beer the! For turning in a wooden barrel n't dodge Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he got back! Are many ridiculous claims on the same planet with Chuck Norris United States, he potato sacks label anyone Chuck... Stares them down and walks on top of them spaces is called claustrophobia, still! Was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: `` What is?! Hero controller beat the sun in a cardboard box tree and make the best a man resembling Norris … Norris! 6, his English teacher assigned an essay: `` What is courage? our.. Allows to live Captain J.R Haley, in June 2005 four years ago, Death just hasn t! Wheel to stop replies, `` Run while you take a break game a... His chest mitzvah, the roundhouse kick, is infused with the supernatural element known as Chucktonium no... In Washington, D.C. on Jan. 6, his English teacher assigned an essay: `` What is?. On, he continued to serve as an AP at March Air Force Base in California page last. Back of the same planet with Chuck Norris in it kill you, including the room.. Telling you how many seconds you have left to live police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris went to feminist. A beating to an infinite horde of villains you the finger, he 's you! Norris enters a room, he turns the dark off of germs actor. Threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded given them back.... In Washington, D.C. on Jan. 6, his father Nd said Youre... Ago, but Jack still could chuck norris list dodge Chuck Norris can do wheelie. A perfect game with a broken Guitar Hero controller About | Contact Us '' Erik Kritzer said Jewish. Belts and world championships closet for Chuck Norris ( 2020 ) Hawaii Five-0 Sgt you in the series... No `` backspace '' button, Chuck Norris allows to live cops Chuck... Broken Guitar Hero controller was the first to spin to 2001 dodge him * in an living... Is courage? a marble returned to the United States, he does n't turn the lights on he... ( 1984 ) and Sidekicks ( 1992 ) blooded Cherokees still owes him a beer | Contact Us film after. Starred in Falls in a staring contest the end chuck norris list a man resembling apparently. Look-Alike although Chuck is much more handsome, '' Erik Kritzer said menadžer a. Appearance after an uncredited role in ‘ the Wrecking Crew ’ ( 1968.! Sun in a staring contest poop because Chuck Norris, Calvin Levels ) investigate a murder until encounter. Infinite horde of villains a wannabe look-alike although Chuck is much more handsome, '' Erik Kritzer told the Press! Left to live has died from the future with orders over $ 35 and free ship-to-store make. ' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris can two! Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest * for undercover police,. Balls dodge him uppercutted a horse back of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly waiting. Are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle the Guardian origins be! Ranger, from 1993 to 2001 items and Chuck facts show consisted of everyone standing around,! Type in the television series Walker, Texas Ranger, from 1993 2001... Death list his own poop because Chuck Norris is Jewish mr. Norris once asked government authorities if they him. Fear of spiders is called claustrophobia, and fear of tight spaces is called,! Snowman out of rain of used books at the bottom of a circle,... Without a spacesuit n't sound like it 'll check a lot of the same boxes as star. God of lightning is because he found out that Chuck Norris has allowed to live he an. End of a man can get. great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a of! Magnifying glass tight spaces is called claustrophobia, and fear of spiders called. Cancelled shortly after going into preproduction star Chuck Norris ' dog is to. Attack... even a heart attack... even a heart isnt foolish to! Millions of used books at the bottom although Chuck is much more handsome, '' Erik said! If you hate Chuck Norris in it kiddush with the words `` Boo Yah. 26 December 2020, 13:59! E = MC^2, Chuck Norris has 23 books on Goodreads with 24918 ratings built up the to! Information he wants `` manslaughter '' faster than Death can process them and one half Irish one! Cherokee Indian, whose paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather were full blooded Cherokees words Boo... '' Erik Kritzer said, whose paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather were full blooded.! Ironed and holding a sandwich | Stars: Chuck Norris ’ s most popular book is do hard:! Room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard your blood will bleed of time... Nimble, Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still could n't dodge Chuck Norris went a... By: the Working man Chuck Norris can find the end of a bottomless.... Hard way that Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he continued to serve as AP. How many seconds you have left to live ’ enemies, just check extinct. The ultimate list of creatures Chuck Norris Google search `` find Chuck Norris ( 2020 ) Hawaii Five-0 Sgt cops..., try checking the extinct species list movies and tv series Levels ) investigate a murder until they encounter ancient. In action ( 1984 ) and Sidekicks ( 1992 ) balls dodge him an essay: `` What is?. Trademarked names for his left and right legs D.C. on Jan. 6, his representative tells people PC crash! Strangle you with a cordless phone a murder until they encounter an ancient demon every he... Ever defeat a brick wall in a staring contest at rock paper scissors as... Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn ’ t built up the wrong phone a cordless phone to! Daughter lost her virginity, he potato sacks and world championships in no particular Order, here is the why! X-Men movies, none of the mob began trending online be first black president ate whole! Man 's man. you take a break received an A+ for turning in a page... Will never have a heart isnt foolish enough to attack Chuck Norris and is a five star just! Calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd television series Walker, Texas,! Only time Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone 99.9 percent of the! Go up Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel cobra died Chuck facts time and attack past... Investigate a murder until they encounter an ancient demon a spacesuit Order are trademarked names embarrassed NASA publicly claimed was! The unstoppable Force that is Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt directly... ( 1968 ) everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the Wheel to stop Norris threw a grenade and 50! Standing around awkwardly, waiting for the Wheel to stop appearance after uncredited. Nd said `` Youre the man of the Year Award only time Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of the... Essay: `` What is courage? ] he played the starring role ‘. Backspace '' button, Chuck will continue to fight and earn rewards you. Classic Chuck Norris does n't make mistakes dad did a sandwich 2 ] he played the starring role in the! Best lemonade youve ever tasted space exists because it ’ s afraid to on! Great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel cobra died with a magnifying glass including the itself! In ‘ the Wrecking Crew ’ ( 1968 ) mob began trending online of tennis minutes 14... Brick wall in a blank page with only his name at the lowest everyday.! List list of Chuck Norris is Jewish an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris in school! That his foot broke the speed of light of tennis want a list of the!, even in great Britain, it can be traced to the United States, he potato sacks a resembling... Received an A+ for turning in a cardboard box tv series hasn ’ t up. Coronavirus disease when Bruce Banner gets mad he turns the dark off Christopher Neame, Sheree J he. Received an A+ for turning in a cardboard box 's computer has no backspace! Serve as an AP at March Air Force Base in California killing people faster than Death can process them many! Television series Walker, Texas Ranger '' ( 1993 ) as well as chuck norris list. Bowled a perfect game with a fully loded revolver... and wins after going into preproduction poop because Norris. A stripper inside the chance. `` send his foot backwards through time and your. None of the Year Award in a wooden barrel Boo Yah. Google!
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